Birds on a Wire

Here are today’s Wonderful Words:

A half dozen other houses were similarly deployed along a strip of sand dune, and together they resembled a flock of weathered gray birds perched on a wire, all staring intently ahead.

A Place of My Own, Michael Pollan, page 253

Background

A Place of My Own is a book about Pollan—a writer—building himself a writing room on his property. This sentence was from the chapter on windows. Pollan is describing the beach house his father built when he was a child.

What makes it wonderful?

I’d never thought of beach houses this way before, but when I read the description, it made perfect sense.

In a neighborhood, houses face every which way. North, south, east, and west. The direction of the picture windows isn’t dictated by the view. It’s determined by the layout of the lots.

On a country lane, the houses face the road, keeping watch of cars rolling by and visitors cruising up their long driveways.

But at the beach, the houses only face one way—toward the view. This makes perfect sense, and it’s a shame this isn’t how every house is oriented, but I digress.

I’ve spent a lot of family vacations at beaches near and far. The Jersey Shore and the Outer Banks are where we’ve spent the most time. But be it New Jersey or North Carolina, if you’re standing at the shoreline looking back toward land, the houses look the same.

They’re perched atop a sand dune—or at least that’s how they appear from your perspective at the water’s edge. They’re stacked shoulder to shoulder in an orderly fashion—there’s no real estate to be wasted with a view like that. And they’re beaten by the wind, waves, and salt—aging more like a rock star than a CrossFit coach.

So that’s what makes it wonderful. Pollan captured an experience many of us have had before, but he did it in a way we’d never think to put into words—weathered gray birds perched on a wire, all staring intently ahead.

Let's get technical

This is another excellent example of imagery, a description so vivid it stimulates your senses to evoke a picture or feeling.

But more importantly, it’s a metaphor, a comparison between two things that are otherwise unrelated. Birds on a telephone wire and houses on the beach? Not related at all. But the qualities of the birds are shared with the qualities of the houses, and that’s what makes it work.

It’s a creative comparison to describe beach houses in a much more interesting way than, “their big picture windows all faced the ocean.” Meh. That’s dreadful.

So the next time your writing is lacking some pizazz, stop and search your memory for a metaphor. Descriptions become more interesting when you use comparisons, and don’t forget to layer on some imagery while you’re at it. The better you get at stacking techniques, the more enticing your writing becomes.

Happy writing,

Joe

P.S. This is the best explanation of a metaphor that I’ve found.